Dating sites for people who just want to have sex
My dating life followed a very specific pattern in my early 20s.
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So, baby Maria would stick around, expecting a deeper connection to form, only to be left crushed a month later when surprise! Advertisement It was like I was on a hamster wheel.
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Their heads bobbed in agreement. They, too, had been dealing with paramours on the prowl for no-strings sex.
And frankly, we were sick of it. But, ever the optimist, I continued to date, wary of guys who would tell me they just wanted casual sex right off the bat. I was meant to have early drinks with bachelor number one, followed by a casual cocktails-and-appetizers date with bachelor number two.
When I got to the bar to meet my first date, I spotted a really attractive, broody guy in the corner, scribbling in a notebook. My date turned out to be a total dud, but writer guy and I kept making eyes.
After just one drink, I told the dude I was with that I had to go, put him in a cab, and then sent off a text to my second date, faking a headache.
I marched back into the bar, sat down next to writer guy, and ordered myself a drink. He was taking notes for a play he was writing. We immediately bonded over our love of cheap beer, theater, and Johnny Cash. For the next five hours, the booze flowed; we moved to another bar, split a plate of nachos, and then drunkenly fell into a cab together back to my apartment.
It was my first experience with casual sex like that — and I was surprised by how into it I was. We continued to see one another, but we were explicit about keeping things casual.
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So we laid down some ground rules: we were allowed to date other people, so long as we were honest about it. Until we got back to my place, of course. But I still had so much fun with him. But, all good things come to an end. The passion that made our sex so good also meant we bickered regularly.
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So, I encouraged him to go after the other girl. We had one more night together and then we parted ways. But it also opened my eyes to one pretty amazing fact: Casual sex can be a lot of fun if both parties are on board.
Will knew that I was never going to change my mind when it came to a relationship with him, so he gracefully exited the situation instead of trying to change it. He knew casual sex was all that I could give at the moment, and when he started wanting something more, he walked away.
By projecting my own desires onto our situation rather than hearing and respecting what they had told me at the start, I was setting myself up for heartbreak.
The problem was me, and denial and maybe rom-coms. Now I know I can reach out to him when I need something, be it help spackling a hole in the wall or an orgasm. Will showed me who he was from the beginning — a funny guy I felt comfortable with who made delicious chicken and dumplings.
And lucky for me, I believed him. After being raised on a steady diet of Disney movies, I expected to meet someone and fall passionately in love — but wound up collapsing under the pressures of modern dating.
Luckily, I eventually realized that there's no "right" way to date, and that I need to find happiness within myself, no partner needed. Follow me on Twitteron Instagramor email me at maria.
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