Why am i afraid to hug the girl i am dating
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Mar 2, Andrew Zaeh for Bustle If you are experiencing the type of relationship when one partner is more affectionate than the otherit might cause a bit of a disconnect. As marriage and family therapist, Dr. Jane Greertells Bustle, "The person who isn't touchy-feely may feel uncomfortable or awkward with the affection, while the person who is touchy-feely will feel deprived when they don't receive this attention.
Why am I so Afraid to Date & Be in a Relationship?
They'll feel like they're missing out on feeling loved and secure. So what's the best way to respond to your physically affectionate partner when you're just not like that? According to Greer, the goal is for the touchy-feely partner to find ways to express affection in a way that's comfortable for both people in the relationship.
If you're not the affectionate type, it's important for you to work with your partner to find the affectionate gestures that are comfortable for both of you. You can start by finding the small physical gestures that come most naturally to you. For instance, holding hands or a hug. Just allow your partner to initiate and go from there, letting your partner know if there's anything you're not OK with.
Verbally Tell Your Partner That You Care About Them Andrew Zaeh for Bustle If you're not physically affectionate, but your partner is, dating and relationship coach, Carla Romotells Bustle, "A great way to respond to this is to first tell your partner that you care a lot about them.
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Then, clearly state that you do not prefer showing affection by being touchy feely and then state what you prefer. Also, it will show your partner that you understand that's how they express that they care.
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Is a long hug too much? If you're the uncomfortable one, have an open discussion with your partner about the types of physical contact they like and the ones you don't. You're sure to find a mutual "yes" in there somewhere.
And if you're OK with it, talk about physical contact that you might be comfortable exploring over time. If you're the one who's uncomfortable with a ton of physical affection, it's important to use "I" statements i. Is there a history of trauma? Are there any sensory issues?
Shy Guy Guide: How to Hug a Girl without Feeling Awkward: why am i afraid to hug the girl i am dating
Did you grow up without receiving a lot of physical touch? Were your physical boundaries violated regularly? But also remember, there's nothing wrong with you because you are not the type to be physically affectionate. Make sure your comfort is a priority in your relationship. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages — words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and receiving gifts — and they are the ways that people express their love, and interpret the feelings of others.
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If your partner's love language is physical touch, and yours isn't, it may be difficult to understand each other. Being curious about what physical touch conveys to you both is a great place to start.
It's the easiest way to prevent your partner from feeling hurt. Be open with your needs sooner rather than later, this way both you and your partner can feel more heard.
Learn To Accept It Andrew Zaeh for Bustle Even if you discuss something over and over again, a person can't change how they just naturally are. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Everyone comes into relationships with their own set of likes and dislikes.
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People also have different ways they like to give and receive love. The best thing for you and your partner to do is to figure out what will make each of you happy.
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